That’s it. I’ve been stuck in a rut of ‘busy’, and when it comes time to think / write, I find I’m exhausted and can’t come up with anything to say. Of course, looking at the list of subscriptions overflowing my inbox, I guess I must have reader’s block, too.
I’ve said it before – life is about seasons. And it really is true. This spring has been one of those busy seasons, full of activities, responsibilities, and a little bit of fun to keep me from going under, (more about that later.) I really miss my blog, and know it’s way past time to post when I find I’m dreaming posts in my sleep, and waking to grab a pencil and jot down a few strange lines – hoping to decipher and remember them until I get a few minutes to write.
Things are in a state of flux around here, one son is preparing to leave our home and move back to his mother’s. I spend much of my time grading his school work, and trying to get his transcript together so he can continue his race for a high-school diploma elsewhere. In addition, the other two students, my oldest son and middle daughter, are finishing up their school year, and my oldest son’s decision to do school through the summer and graduate early has doubled my lesson planning / assignment grading workload. But I am happy to do whatever it takes to get him on the road to his future. He is leaving for an internship with Teen Mania Ministries in August of 2008. Then there’s my oldest daughter, college student, full-time waitress, she lives and breathes music, and runs from coffee shop to concert hall to get her fix. She still needs me, occasionally. It’s nice.
Husband, kids, life -- busy. Writer’s block. That’s it. Well, maybe.
I decided several weeks ago that I was going to take my writing seriously, and discipline myself to write consistently. I work part time for a publisher, and we talked at length about my passion, my story, and what impact I hoped to have on the world with my writing. I was inspired! But I think I let self-conscious fear tie my fingers in knots. Yes, life got incredibly demanding, but I let it. I have been stalling, and second guessing myself. But I’m determined that I will write – regularly – and maybe, just maybe, my passion, my story, will spill out onto the page and affect someone in this world beside me. That is my hope.
So, I will write. And if the
three two-and-one-half people who actually read my blog have been wondering where I am, there’s your answer. I hope you’ll be reading more of me in the future. Either way, I’ll be writing more of me, of that you can be sure.
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Tuesday, May 15, 2007